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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27574070">taste of stardust</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukyung/pseuds/yukyung'>yukyung</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Boyz (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Royalty, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magical Realism, Usage of Korean names</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 23:22:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,188</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27574070</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukyung/pseuds/yukyung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngjae would like to believe that there has never been a moment in which he truly feels alone; when dusk falls and the sun waves goodbye, he knows the stars will be there to keep him company.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Juyeon/Son Youngjae | Eric</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>186</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a very belated bday gift for a friend, and big thanks to via and char for helping me with this.</p><p>this took me 3 to 4 rewrites since June for me to finally publish this one hell of an au but enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>The</em> <em>stars will continue to burn bright for you even in the darkest of nights.”</em> His mother would whisper to him, sealing it with a kiss to his forehead as he falls asleep in her arms.</p><p>As a child, he never really gets the meaning of it, but he recites it like a mantra in his head.</p><p>It’s different from the one he hears from his friends. Many of them are older, giggling as they twist the tale. They tell him that unless the stars burn bright for you, you aren’t worth anyone’s attention. Personally, he thinks it’s stupid. Why on Earth would some blinking lights in the sky decide if he deserves attention.</p><p>He’s only 10 when he hears this, and has yet to filter his words as he relays it to his mother. She links their pinkies together, telling him not to take it to heart. Those words are meaningless, she says. It’s a promise he doesn’t understand but he loves her, so he listens.</p><p>Even through her passing, Youngjae carries it with him as he grows older— it’s one of his most clear memories of her, and one of the last. As shadows begin to embrace her, tugging her gently away from him, he thinks of how life had never been merciful to either of them. They barely made ends meet, with his mother struggling to source for food to raise him. He’s just glad that she left with a smile on her face.</p><p>It’s almost cruel that he only meets his father once his mother has passed. The elders barely give him time to mourn for the woman who had birthed and raised him with so much love and affection before he’s taken in by a man he doesn’t remember.</p><p>But Youngjae doesn’t complain. He has no reason to when his father’s family becomes his own. Even when they know he was born out of infidelity on his father’s part, his father’s wife and daughter treat him well. They treat him like he’s their own. So he cherishes them, for they have been nothing but kind to him.</p><p>With them, he enters an entirely new world.</p><p>He learns that his father comes from a place of nobility and that gives him some sort of privilege. It’s different. He has a comfortable lifestyle now. He only wishes his mother would have experienced this too. It’s strange being served warm, delicious food on a silver platter. He feels itchy in his clothes, despite them being new and made with better material, it makes his skin crawl— it takes him a while to stop wearing his hand-me-downs. </p><p>Not to mention, Youngjae also receives education from only the best. He knows his father pulled some strings to let this happen, <em> knows </em>that not everyone can say they share classes with the crown prince. Because of this, he’s given permission to reside in the palace.</p><p>It fills him with contempt but he knows to appreciate his blessings. He’s fortunate enough to grow into a fine man, though there are none who acknowledge it. He might be the son of a respected nobleman, but there’s not much to be said of his true parentage.</p><p>No one bats an eye when Youngjae isn’t addressed by his proper title.</p><p>To others, Lord Sohn is his father. To others, he’s simply known as the bastard son. In their eyes, he’s nothing but a boy born out of wedlock, and not even to Lord Sohn’s current wife. He’s made a laughing stock. They don’t outright mock him to his face but he should be given credit where it’s due. He’s much more observant than they think. He hears the gossip; sees the sneers they barely try to hide as he passes by.</p><p>It’s funny, he thinks. Laughter threatens to escape him, everytime he greets them with a bow. They almost always answer with a saccharine smile.</p><p>No words to be said, not even a simple ‘hello’.</p><p>Youngjae doesn’t let it bother him. Instead, he takes it in stride and thinks of other ways to earn their acknowledgement. He’ll make a name for himself, rather than being known as the son of a reputed nobleman. He prides himself for being well-rounded. He thinks his best quality is his confidence. He’s comfortable in his own skin, which allows him to hone his skills— there’s no anxiety or reluctance to stop him from picking up a new hobby or sport.</p><p>It lets him speak well too; He’s charming, and if someone were to deny it, then he has nothing to say to that. Those condescending officials doesn't matter to him. It especially doesn’t matter what they think because he has the prince by his side. He trusts him. He knows the prince wouldn’t look at him any different. The prince sees him for <em> him. </em></p><p>The prince, introducing himself as <em> Juyeon</em>, is timid when they first meet. He’s unlike how Youngjae expects. He’s soft-spoken, shy and tries to avoid looking directly into his eyes when they talk. Youngjae immediately takes a liking to him. He makes it his mission to befriend the shy prince while being careful not to cross any boundaries.</p><p>It’s not easy to forget that Juyeon is the crown prince, and Youngjae barely makes a nobleman’s son.</p><p>It only takes a few tries for him to comfortably approach His Royal Highness, the prince only ever looking at him warily. But with the addition of Sunwoo, a knight in training, it makes the task of tearing the prince’s walls down so much easier.</p><p>Sunwoo is just as bright as he is. They both become a powerhouse when brought together, bouncing around and play-fighting— it’s a success when Juyeon accepts their invitation to play silly games. The three of them make an odd combination but no one can deny their chemistry to the point it’s much stranger to see one without the other two.</p><p>He doesn’t remember a single moment where they aren’t around each other. Every passing minute is spent together— they share the same classes, they train and encourage one another to improve their skills, and still continue to use their free time playing around. Juyeon and Sunwoo are his closest friends. If Youngjae has to pick someone he would trust his life with, without a doubt, he would choose those two.</p><p>There’s no room for him to think otherwise. He knows very well that they would reply in a similar manner too. Juyeon, Sunwoo and him have always shared every single thought and it’s to the point they know everything from their deepest desires to their smallest tics and even superficial things such as their favorite colour. But his dynamics with the two of them are different.</p><p>With Sunwoo, it’s easy. </p><p>If he has to describe their friendship, he would define them as being two sides of the same coin. They’re partners in crime. Being the same age meant they’re a lot more like-minded. If anyone points their fingers at them for pulling pranks on unsuspecting handmaidens and snobby old men, he pretends not to know. Well, it’s not his fault they got what they deserved for taking advantage of working in the palace.</p><p>It becomes a running joke that Sunwoo acts like a big brother with Youngjae. Seeing as he’s born late into the year, it’s not particularly strange for Sunwoo to treat him like he’s younger, though it doesn’t bother either of them. Sunwoo finds him cute, and Youngjae admires his ethics and hardwork. Besides, Youngjae likes being doted on.</p><p>With Juyeon however…</p><p>Youngjae looks up to him. He’s the first person that comes to mind when Youngjae needs someone to confide in. Juyeon would never fail to provide comfort when he’s tired and sad.</p><p>He still remembers the time when he got injured during a game of hide-and-seek. He had been careless, and accidentally hit against something sharp as he looked for a place to conceal himself. It was Juyeon who found him bursting into tears because the pain was unbearable. It left a permanent scar on the corner of his mouth, but it healed nicely with Juyeon’s quick work.</p><p>After the incident gets settled, it takes almost a full hour for them to find Sunwoo. He had been hiding in a small corner, the complaints about them taking too long are far too many, they could practically recite his rant word for word. But they know there’s no hard feelings involved.</p><p>There are nights when Youngjae struggles to fall asleep. Those nights, he’d knock on Juyeon’s door and the prince would welcome him, no matter the hour. He’d lay next to him, feeling himself fall into a deep slumber as the prince sings him a lullaby he would vaguely recognize. It’s the sweet timbre of Juyeon’s voice that chases the nightmares away.</p><p>When that fails, though very rarely, Juyeon would invite him to dance. With their limbs flailing around and stepping on each other’s toes, it feels quite awkward. But Youngjae loves it. He loves having his head tucked under Juyeon’s while the prince hums a melody beneath his breath.</p><p>He appreciates it. He appreciates <em> him</em>. Every morning after, he finds himself waking in the bed of his own room. Youngjae understands he can’t sleep over anymore since they’re both older now but he’s glad that Juyeon never once complained about him entering his chamber in the odd hours of the night.</p><p>But he has to hand it to both Juyeon and Sunwoo, though. If it weren’t for them, he probably wouldn’t have memories of such a happy childhood like he does now.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>He’s 16 when the group separates for the first time. Youngjae almost hears the news too late, had it not been for the noblewoman berating her lady-in-waiting right in front of him for not bringing a gift to wish the crown prince safe travels. When she leaves, the latter mutters a string of curses that makes Youngjae bend over laughing. He approaches her, a grin plastered on his face, and asks what her employer was talking about.</p><p>Out of spite, she tells him and Youngjae learns that Juyeon will be setting sail to the land beyond the seas. It’s for a quest, she says. It’s highly confidential and those who know, remain tightlipped. However, what’s common knowledge is that Juyeon would be gone for a very, <em> very </em>long time. And he won’t be going alone, it turns out that Sunwoo would be accompanying him too.</p><p>His heart feels heavy.</p><p>To think that they’ve had years of tight friendship, and they would be leaving soon without saying goodbye. It <em> hurts</em>. And he doesn’t know the risks involved in this quest, how dangerous it would be. He fears for their safety. There’s no telling what’s in store for them but he can only pray they come back safe and sound.</p><p>Youngjae knows he should trust them. He knows Juyeon would be able to handle himself, having reached adulthood earlier in the year but Sunwoo barely turned 16, and while he may have trained for this his whole life, Youngjae’s reminded that Sunwoo is still as immature as he is. He still has his fears, though he tries his best to brave through many difficult situations.</p><p>When he confronts them, they look at him guiltily and mumble a <em> sorry.</em> It turns out they planned on breaking it to him much earlier but preparations had been so arduous that it completely slipped their minds. Deep inside, he knows they don’t have any ill intentions, so he accepts their reasons with a wistful heart.</p><p>Weeks pass by, and the date to their send off comes closer. It’s terrifying. The prospect of losing two of his closest friends haunts him more often than not, as of late. It pushes him to meet an old friend of his, to charm a few things that would hopefully keep his friends safe.</p><p>He gifts one to Sunwoo, who ties the charm around his wrist.</p><p>“Keep safe, I’ll see you again soon.”</p><p>His best friend pulls him into a hug, thanking him.</p><p>“You should take care too,” the red-haired knight echoes well wishes back to him. “Juyeon and I will try our best to come back as soon as possible.”</p><p>Youngjae can only smile tightly in response. They both know it’s a very risky promise to make. Whatever it is Juyeon has to achieve with this quest, it will not be an easy task to handle.</p><p>The other charm, he plans on gifting to Juyeon. He figures Juyeon would be in his chambers, seeing as the sun is beginning to set. Youngjae knows his routine. He’d train until dusk and return to wash up, then read a book or two before retiring to bed. It always, <em> always </em>runs like clockwork. Youngjae can’t remember a single moment Juyeon has broken out of his routine except to attend his duties on short notice. </p><p>Standing in front of the prince’s door, he fully expects Juyeon to be there but he still knocks out of courtesy. It’s a rhythm only he, Sunwoo and Juyeon know; a secret code they made as children, but it had stuck over the years.</p><p>“Come in, the door’s unlocked.”</p><p>The first thing that greets his sight is the figure of Juyeon standing on his balcony, face buried in a book. Youngjae isn’t surprised by this. He’s seen this image many, many times before. But Juyeon’s eyes are hazy as he looks up at him.</p><p>“Your Highness.”</p><p>He barely mutters those two words when Juyeon’s expression hardens. Youngjae knows what’s coming, they’ve had this conversation countless times before.</p><p>“We’ve known each other since we were young, why do you insist on calling me so formally?”</p><p>“Because I am not your equal.” Youngjae answers, though his tone was light, it was not any less true. “You are the prince.”</p><p>If it’s possible, Juyeon’s face falls even further. His lips, usually curled as a soft smile, turns into a frown. He feels his chest constrict, though he isn’t sure why.</p><p>The prince looks away from him, instead turning to face the scenery before him. Youngjae is familiar with the view. He knows how enchanting it is, having spent his childhood running in and out of Juyeon’s chambers in secret. From the balcony, it looks over the vast garden, and  into the clear blue seas that were visible even from far away.</p><p>Personally, he thinks the view of Juyeon appreciating the scenery is miles better than the view outside.</p><p>“You know very well that titles aren’t important to me,” the prince says, brows furrowing. “Please, just call me Juyeon.”</p><p>He does know. Quite well, in fact. He still remembers Juyeon turning sulky because he thought Youngjae was trying to distance himself from the prince.</p><p>But that really isn’t the case.</p><p>In his mind, he still calls him by his name but he makes it a habit to refer to Juyeon as His Highness. He can’t treat him like he used to. Now that they’re older, the clearer the difference in rank becomes. Especially now, with Juyeon preparing himself to inherit the throne.</p><p>Sometimes, he needs to remind himself that his father drilled the fact they weren’t children anymore for this very reason.</p><p>Juyeon says something under his breath, Youngjae could barely hear. He wonders if he mistakenly heard the prince say, ‘<em>I’m gonna miss you’</em>.</p><p>“I think my hearing has gone bad. Do you mind repeating that?”</p><p>The prince breaks into a half-hearted smile, shaking his head. “It’s nothing, I just said I’ll miss the view. But I should ask, what brings you here?”</p><p>“You act like I need a valid reason to barge in here,” Youngjae raises an eyebrow.</p><p>Juyeon shrugs playfully, acknowledging it.</p><p>They both know that under the false pretense of formalities, Juyeon would trust Youngjae with his life, and vice versa. That means neither of them would question the other’s intentions, even if it’s for something as simple as meeting with Juyeon.</p><p>“But I do actually have a reason,” he grins sheepishly. “I have something for you. Can you hold your hand out for me?”</p><p>“Hm?” Juyeon tilts his head, curious. He lays his hands flat out, and Youngjae feels the blood rush in his veins. In the back of his mind, he knows Juyeon won’t think any less of it but he still feels nervous. He clasps both hands over Juyeon’s, sliding a ring onto his pinky finger.</p><p>
  <em> Damn. </em>
</p><p>It’s too big.</p><p>He must have measured it wrong. He’s used to Juyeon having hands that were much larger than his own, that he figured it would fit.</p><p>“Are you proposing to me?” Juyeon jokes.</p><p>“Well, you’re not far off track with that,” he answers, distractedly.</p><p>“Wait, <em> really?”</em></p><p>Youngjae doesn’t reply, busying himself with the charmed jewelry. Pulling the ring off, he tries it on Juyeon’s ring finger instead but it’s too tight, and Youngjae groans. What’s the good use of having big hands, anyway?</p><p>“Hold on, let me look for something.”</p><p>If Juyeon answers, he doesn’t hear as he scuffles around the room to look for anything he could use to make sure Juyeon keeps it secure with him. From the corner of his eyes, Youngjae notices the prince looking at the ring appreciatively. It’s pretty, he thinks. While Sunwoo’s was a small diamond, meant to bring courage; Juyeon’s is a red garnet, encrusted in a silver band.</p><p>It’s simple but breathtaking.</p><p>An idea strikes, and he makes way to Juyeon’s closet. There’s no hesitation in his movements as he pulls it open, immediately scanning the shelf where he knows Juyeon keeps all his accessories.</p><p>He finds the perfect thing to use, and cheers internally. It’s a leather cord with no pendant attached, which makes it easier for him. He doesn’t forget to take two beads along with him, and moves back to his original position.</p><p>Gently, he twists the ring off Juyeon’s finger, careful not to cause him any discomfort. He slides the ring onto the cord, then the beads on both sides so it wouldn’t fall off easily. After double-checking whether it would be secure enough, he steps back with a satisfied smile. </p><p>“I hope you can keep this on you,” Youngjae says, handing the makeshift necklace to Juyeon.</p><p>Juyeon’s expression softens, a fond look passing his face. He’s glad that the prince hasn’t shown any signs of dislike, though he never expects him to.</p><p>He can’t help but dissolve into giggles. It’s entirely too cute to watch Juyeon fumbling around with his hands, failing to put the necklace on himself. The prince burns bright red, rubbing his ears in clear embarrassment.</p><p>“Can you help me put it on?” Juyeon asks.</p><p>“Come here,” Youngjae grins, the ghost of laughter still evident in his voice. It’s a command that neither takes seriously but Juyeon takes a step closer, bending forward so they would be of similar height. Youngjae reaches his arms around his neck, all too aware of the puffs of air on his cheek. It sends shivers down his spine, and he tries to clasp the necklace together without breaking his composure. Just as he hears the click, he pulls away quickly, putting distance between them.</p><p>Juyeon doesn’t pay him any mind, his hand curling over the ring and rubbing it, almost subconsciously. </p><p>“I’m not sure if you knew this,” Youngjae begins, “But it’s your birthstone— a garnet. I was told it keeps the wearer safe from harm so I looked high and low to get this for you. I’m not sure if it’ll work but I did get it charmed for extra precaution.”</p><p>Juyeon looks up at him with wide eyes, murmuring a “<em>Thank you.”</em></p><p>A thought appears, and Youngjae’s reminded of a memory similar to this. Back when they were way younger, he recalls being in the same position, in the same place as this. Just like every other day, when he has a nightmare, he instinctively rushes to meet Juyeon. The prince had gifted him a necklace, which he still keeps on him, wishing him to have good dreams. Since then, he never had to disturb Juyeon again.</p><p>“Don’t mention it. There isn’t much I can do for you besides this.” He says softly. “I know it’s not my right to request anything from you, but Juyeon… I only ask one thing.”</p><p>“Name it.”</p><p>“<em>Please, </em>stay safe.”</p><p>“Always.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Youngjae is used to crossing paths with his friends easily, it takes a while for him to adjust to their absence. It almost feels unnatural. His life continues as normal, but there’s an emptiness that lingers and he can’t figure out how to manage it. The only sense of normalcy he hangs onto is the letters that they would send every so often. It had become their form of communication.</p><p>Before they left, Juyeon promised to write to him and there hasn’t been a single moment where he fails to keep it. They had fallen into an unspoken schedule, with Youngjae receiving one every fortnight. Oftentimes, it is Juyeon who writes, but every once in a while, Sunwoo would attach his own message at the end.</p><p>It brings him comfort, yet he still feels so <em> sad. </em></p><p>He misses them, and it shows— he would wait for the arrival of the messenger bird, with a quill in one hand and a piece of parchment in the other. The anticipation drums through his veins as he looks forward to what they had in store for him.</p><p>Each letter was always different from the previous. They would talk about their voyage, each tale as interesting as the next. Given by how meticulous Juyeon is with his words, Youngjae could feel like he’s physically there with them. It’s a blessing to be able to live vicariously through Juyeon’s stories. He would quickly read, and re-read the content of the letter and scrawl a response.</p><p>His own letters pales in comparison.</p><p>Sometimes he’d struggle to think of something interesting to say, but he thinks Juyeon and Sunwoo wouldn’t mind listening to the mundane activities in his life. He’s no story-teller, but he does try his best to weave words into summoning their imagination. He goes heavy-handed in his details, talking about his newly-acquainted friend who's kept him company since they’ve been gone. He doesn’t mention any names but he figures both Sunwoo and Juyeon would surely like them once they meet.</p><p>Youngjae is well aware he doesn’t have to write a lengthy letter, but he wants to put in the same effort they’ve been giving him. He still remembers the first letter he received as soon as Juyeon set sail. It had been as long as 3 pages, talking about the journey and how it’s been going smoothly, excluding the fact that Sunwoo had gotten seasick. But other than that, they haven’t encountered anything too horrible. They were doing okay, and the seas have been kind.</p><p>He’s glad to hear it.</p><p>Every night, he’d pray to the stars to keep them safe. Pouring his soul into his prayers, he hoped his mother was right, and hoped the stars would continue to burn bright, guiding Juyeon and Sunwoo on their endeavour. He doesn’t know what he would do if anything happens to them. His two closest friends are off on a quest, and the risks are endless. It could very well be their demise and the thought <em> terrifies </em> him.</p><p>The prince is careful not to elaborate on the details which worries him to an extent. Undoubtedly, the quest would be exceedingly gruelling if it needed to be kept with the utmost secrecy but the burden must be huge to withstand. But Youngjae barely has time to dwell on it. As weeks turn into months, the letters begin to lessen. It’s neither of their faults, really— it’s just naive of them to think they could keep it up for some time.</p><p>Both Juyeon and Sunwoo had their responsibilities to carry, while Youngjae himself becomes too busy, as he’s given tasks after tasks per his father’s orders. He simply does it without complaint. It’s difficult but he’s in no position to question his father’s instructions. He only wonders to himself why his father would stack duties upon him, with no free time to spare, when he has always been diligent with his education and his training.</p><p>He’s not the type to slack off but he finds himself sneaking away more often than not, these days. Youngjae would write all of these incidents, scurrying off to the aviary so Juyeon would receive it as soon as possible. He counts the days until he finally receives a response from the prince. As of late, Youngjae learns to keep his expectations low, sometimes it even ceases as Juyeon’s replies become sporadic.</p><p>It’s been too long, the tone in his letters have shifted. Youngjae can’t keep a secret, his apprehension is evident in his writing as he worries over them. He gets this sense of foreboding that soon, he won’t be able to hear from the prince for some time. For now, with the few letters he still receives, he keeps safe in a small chest hidden in the back of his closet. </p><p>Everytime he misses their company, he’d bring them out to read it again. It’s just happening more often now. Each letter contains the heart and soul of his friends, it’s absolutely precious to him but the last letter— it’s one he keeps close to him.</p><p>Youngjae studies his name imprinted prettily at the top, each letter written in clean, sharp strokes. He likes his handwriting, it’s neat, although it differs greatly from the content. Juyeon still addresses him as informally as ever. It’s amusing but how unfit for a soon-to-be king. Nonetheless, he finds it endearing. Juyeon has always thought of Youngjae as nothing lesser than him, and it means so much to him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Youngjae, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I hope this letter finds you well. It’s been much too long since I’ve last written to you, and I’m sorry I couldn’t respond any sooner. Sunwoo sends his regards too. By the time you receive this, we’d have already arrived at our destination. Many events have taken place since we last communicated, both good and bad. To cease your worries, it wasn’t entirely horrible. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We were in a difficult situation, I don’t know how else to explain it but Youngjae, It was terrifying. There was something lurking in the water, and the seas were simmering with rage – I could only thank the waves for carrying us ashore. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I wish there were words that could describe it with justice, but unfortunately there aren’t any. Nothing could’ve prepared us for what we encountered, myself only ever hearing about it through tales of old. Which brings me to my next point, Sunwoo. I’m honestly reluctant to tell you this, but you deserve to know. He was injured. Badly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m sure you remember but our crew consists of people who live far from the kingdom, many of them are experienced sailors, for the sea is their home. Being so far away, we decided to keep our identity a secret. They know our names, but not our faces. It was easy to hide it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But we failed to predict that one of them would try to risk his life, and try to save Sunwoo. You and I both know Sunwoo’s capable of protecting himself but the poor boy didn’t. It happened too fast. Perhaps his instincts kicked into gear but he quickly pulled the boy away, and got hurt in the process. As of right now, he’s currently recuperating but it was definitely alarming. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I thought I almost lost him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s been tough lately. I’m trying my best here but the days are beginning to blur, and I’m not too sure what the goal of this quest is, anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I miss you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I want to go back, but this quest is important. So many lives depend on it. I know the only thing I can do is to persevere, I’ve done it before and I can continue to do so. Especially because I have you and Sunwoo with me. Nevertheless, I have something I wanted to share with you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s a poem I discovered on my voyage to the land beyond the seas. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> cling to joy: audacious and unbridled joy, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> that looks for light in everything,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> even in your waiting.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Unfortunately, the poem couldn’t be recovered in full. The ink had faded, and I barely managed to decipher the few lines that could still be read, but I liked it a lot. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It reminded me of you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You, who is endlessly bright; You, who has always looked for the good in the bad; You, who keeps our home standing strong for Sunwoo and I to return to. Despite the dangers that await us, thinking of you motivates us to complete this quest well. There’s a thought that runs through my mind every so often; how much longer until we meet again? It’s daunting to think about, but it keeps me going.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m so thankful, and Sunwoo is too. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I have so much to say, but I’ll have to end it here now. I’m sorry it can’t be any longer than this, especially knowing I can’t promise you when I’ll be able to write to you again, seeing as we’ll be on the move soon. This might be the last you’ll be receiving any letters from me, but hopefully the next time you hear from me, I’ll be back safe and sound. Until then, please stay healthy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sincerely, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Juyeon </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Tracing each word and each line with the tip of his fingers, Youngjae finds it hard to breathe. The letter isn’t as long as it usually would be, but Juyeon’s penmanship is still as beautiful as ever. There’s an inexplicable feeling that fills his heart as he reads it over and over again.</p><p>He misses his friends.</p><p>He misses them so damn much.</p><p>He’s trying hard not not to worry, knowing fully well Juyeon and Sunwoo can handle themselves, but the lack of updates is wearing down on him. Even through written words, he could tell Juyeon sounds different, more guarded.</p><p>It leaves Youngjae feeling unsettled.</p><p>The usual lightheartedness is absent, and the news of Sunwoo sends waves of anxiety, but he is so proud of him. It must have taken a lot of courage for the knight to do such a thing. Youngjae might have his reservations about his friends being so far away; saddened to part with them, but the growth is obvious in them and he hopes it’s a good change.</p><p>Holding the letter tight to his chest, Youngjae prays and prays and <em> prays </em> they all would be alright in the end.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>after months, i'm finally back with another chapter! been stacked with so much work but it's nice to work on this again.</p><p>enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nothing changes, and yet things are different.</p><p>Youngjae likes to pretend he isn’t affected by it; 3 long years, and he feels like he’s stuck in a limbo— between the past, where he thinks of his childhood, and now, where he has to set aside his interests to focus on his responsibilities.</p><p>He can barely visualize how his friends would look now; figures they would’ve matured beyond his imagination. He knows he himself did. The gradual shift into coming of age is something he can’t ignore, and while the number 19 shouldn’t be anything grand but it is, and the implications are heavy. Duty calls, Youngjae has to tread carefully now, especially with his father hounding him for it.</p><p>But today is special.</p><p>With his mother’s help, he convinces his father to give him a day off to indulge himself <em>just this once. </em>It’s only a miniscule change to his routine, but he enjoys it nonetheless. He gets to eat his favorite meal that his mother specially prepared for him and even receives a small gift from his older sister, and small, by his sister’s standards actually means not small at all. His sister has always been protective of her belongings, and for her to allow him to ride her horse comes as a surprise.</p><p>To others, they would probably find it laughable but Youngjae knows how much she treasures the mare, one she deems her companion for life. </p><p>So he takes the mare to town and visits the quaint little shops he used to frequent as a child, and goes so far as to visit the orphanage he stayed at for a brief period. It’s too good of an offer for him to waste. Youngjae might not be as skilled at horse-riding as his sister but he can handle himself well enough.</p><p>It’s quite literally a trip down memory lane.</p><p>Thinking about it, many things might’ve changed but he’s glad he can still recognise familiar faces, still see his caregiver emanate kindness as they have always done as he engages in idle chat with them. Simple pleasantries exchanged brings him back to a time where he had little to no worries. It’s nostalgic, he thinks. Even if it was for a brief period, they’re the ones who filled the empty hole carved into his heart when his mother passed away.</p><p>Youngjae never really takes into account how much he misses it, how much he misses what used to be his home.</p><p>It’s been so long since he last visited, and the guilt eats him from inside out. In the back of his mind, he wonders the <em>what ifs </em>had he stayed in town, had he not turned to a life of luxury. Looking at the children in the orphanage, some who keep to themselves and others who play around, <em>he wonders</em>.</p><p>He wishes he could help them on a larger scale, but he’s only one person. So he tries to make it up to them in the only way he knows how. Youngjae barely notices the time slipping by as he spends hours playing around with the children. He only realises it’s gotten late when the sun begins to set fire to the sky, and they are called to return for dinnertime.</p><p>To his surprise, the voice belongs to a familiar face who stares at him just as shocked. Taking a proper look, he sees the name <em>Chanhee</em> sewn neatly over the breast pocket of his apron.</p><p>“You’re a baker now!” is the first thing that leaves his mouth. </p><p>“Not even a hello?” Chanhee sighs in exasperation, and it feels like they went back in time. When they were kids with bodies too small and a dream too big, sharing silly jokes under the night sky, he’s glad to see Chanhee become a baker like he always wanted to be.</p><p>“Hello,” he grins impishly.</p><p>The baker rolls his eyes at his antics, “What brings you around?”</p><p>“Nothing special—” cue his stomach growling and Youngjae scratches his head—“Sorry, I haven’t eaten anything since this morning.”</p><p>Belatedly, he realises he probably shouldn’t have said that. Because he can already hear what Chanhee has to say about it.</p><p>“May the stars protect you before I lose control of my hands, Sohn Youngjae because I’m about to wring your neck.”</p><p>If it had been anyone else, he probably would’ve laughed it off but it’s Chanhee. And no one can stand against him.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he squeaks, holding both of his arms up in an attempt to defend himself. “I got caught up with seeing everyone again.”</p><p>Chanhee narrows his eyes accusingly, “You’re lucky I brought extra today, I usually bring just enough for the kids.”</p><p>Youngjae smiles at him in response. Even with his aggressive tone, he can tell Chanhee cares from his gentle touch, careful not to hurt him with the warm bun.</p><p>“You should eat a full meal when you get home. This isn’t enough to last you for the rest of the night.”</p><p>Just to push at his buttons, Youngjae raises his chin in mock defiance. “And if I don’t?”</p><p>“Youngjae, I swear—” The baker begins, raising his hand to smack him but Youngjae quickly moves out of the way, cackling in delight. Chanhee sighs in defeat, telling him. “Ride safe and take care.”</p><p>“Okay, okay. I will,” he says, still laughing. Whether he actually does it, or it’s just to appease him, he’ll find out later. For now, he gives his thanks to Chanhee and bids goodbye to him, the children and his old caregiver with the promise of visiting again soon.</p><p>Soon, the last bit of sunlight retracts into the sky and the moon appears to say hello. Youngjae arrives home and settles the mare into her stable, kisses his mother’s cheek before he strolls back to the palace. He loves walking on nights like these. The cool air covers him in a soft embrace and it soothes him. </p><p>Nights like these, he never really feels lonely.</p><p>Maybe it’s the comfort in knowing he’ll always have the stars to keep him company. And tonight, they shine brighter than usual.</p><p> </p><p>On his way back, he takes a shortcut and slips into the palace kitchen. His stomach growls uncomfortably, and in hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have taken a leisure walk home because now he’s starting to feel really hungry. But the sound drowns out when he hears a bark of laughter from behind him and Youngjae jumps in shock, clutching his chest.</p><p>If Youngjae was feeling lethargic, it leaves his body immediately as he twists to find the culprit. And God, does he almost <em>die.</em></p><p>There, in all his glory, is the prince Lee Juyeon staring at him in amusement.</p><p>“Hi.”</p><p>“Your Highness, you’re back.” He bows respectfully, trying to keep calm as his heart threatens to escape his chest.</p><p>If it weren’t for the fact Youngjae feels like he jumped out of his skin, he would find this situation entirely entertaining.</p><p>“I returned this morning.” Juyeon says, his lips curling into a smile. “I couldn’t find you earlier though.”</p><p>“Sorry, I was in town the entire day,” he says, a bit overwhelmed. His body starts to fail him, and he can’t tell if it’s the sweltering heat that his hands feel clammy or it’s his nerves, because he knows there’s tears pricking at his eyes and wow, is this really happening?</p><p>It turns out he actually says it, because Juyeon softens and assures him. “I’m here, Youngjae. It’s really happening.” And it becomes all too much for him so he turns his back towards Juyeon, dabbing his eyes with his sleeve.</p><p>It takes a good minute for him to gather his composure, and he struggles to regain his breath. “Where’s Sunwoo? How are you here? Where did you go after—”</p><p>“Hold on, Youngjae. <em>Breathe</em>.” Juyeon tells him, patting the stool beside him, beckoning him to sit. Part of him wants to go against him but in a split second, he decides he’d rather not defy the prince. Not today at least. “I’ll tell you, but first— you haven’t eaten, have you?”</p><p>“No, I haven’t… I forgot about it.”</p><p>“Hm, I figured. Can you wait for a moment?”</p><p>“Can I ask why?” he implores, curious as to what Juyeon was planning. But he didn’t have to because the prince lets the answer slip just as he asks.</p><p>“I’ll cook up something for you.”</p><p>“<em>Excuse me?</em>”</p><p>“Is there something wrong?”</p><p>“You’re the <em>prince</em>,” he stares at him pointedly.</p><p>Juyeon holds his gaze, almost challenging. “And?”</p><p>“I should be the one serving you, Your Highness.”</p><p>“Juyeon. Call me Juyeon.” the prince sighs, “If anyone asks, we’ll pretend I’m just putting the skills I honed on my quest to good use, okay?”</p><p>Youngjae knows he’s in no position to deny Juyeon’s request, so he tells him, “Okay, Juyeon…” as he takes a seat right where Juyeon told him to, watching the prince with a child-like wonder. It’s strange seeing him after so long.</p><p>He can’t help but notice how much Juyeon has grown since he last saw him. The prince looks different. Which is to be expected, seeing as he’d been gone for a bit more than 3 years now but Youngjae digresses. Aside from the fact Juyeon has obviously matured into his looks— with his posture straight, appearing absolutely regal and so, <em>so handsome</em>— Youngjae can tell the prince gives off a different aura now.</p><p>He just can’t seem to pinpoint what it is, exactly.</p><p>Silence settles in the air but it isn’t awkward. It never has been with Juyeon. It’s comfortable, and Youngjae finally feels somewhat complete again, seeing Juyeon shuffle around as he prepares dinner for the two of them. But still, there’s a lingering disbelief that he’s actually here right in the flesh. Especially seeing how much he has changed, and it’s not like he didn’t expect Juyeon to grow but there’s grace in the prince’s movements that he lacked as a child.</p><p>It doesn’t take too long for him to catch a whiff of the food and the smell, <em>oh the smell, </em>it’s so delectable he feels his mouth water. And as good as it smelled, the presentation looks pleasing too, as Juyeon serves him the dish— a simple bowl of stir-fried noodles. Giddy, Youngjae picks up his chopsticks and bites into the noodles, feeling the flavours burst into his mouth and moans. “This is really good,” he says, with his mouth full.</p><p>Juyeon grins in response, grabbing his own bowl to eat. In between bites, he asks. “How have you been since my last letter?” And he says it with such nonchalance that Youngjae nearly chokes on his food. </p><p>How does he break it to him that he’s been struggling to get by without them, in daylight where he walks the same path as they once did, the ghost of laughter that rings through the air and all he feels is the agony that he might never be whole again without them.</p><p>There is so much he could say but he doesn’t.</p><p>“It’s different, I’ve been busy running errands for my father but it’s fine. I’m fine.” He wonders if he’s saying that to him, or more to himself and the look on Juyeon’s face clearly says he doesn’t believe a single word he uttered but Youngjae quickly moves on from the topic. “How about you? you never answered my questions.”</p><p>Juyeon opens his mouth, but he probably thought twice because he closes it and sighs, “First of all, Sunwoo went home after settling everything here. He hung around for a while, hoping he could catch you but his family was worried sick so he had to go back.”</p><p>He feels a bit disappointed that he couldn’t see Sunwoo, but there’s also this wave of relief that overcomes him. They’re really back now.</p><p>But then the prince’s eyes turn downcast, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“What for?”</p><p>“For disappearing, for not coming back sooner, for <em>everything.</em>”</p><p>“It’s fine, Juyeon.” he responds, softly. “I’m just glad you’re back, safe and sound.”</p><p>“I have so much to tell you,” Juyeon says, just as soft. “I couldn’t mention it back then, but we went to the Land beyond the Seas and it’s so different from what I expected.”</p><p>“Well, we have all the time in the world now.” Youngjae grins. It doesn’t matter what Juyeon wants to tell him because he would listen to him tirelessly to make up for lost time.</p><p>Juyeon laughs and agrees, “That we do.”</p><p>Just as he’s about to leave his seat to wash the dishes, Juyeon stops him and slips something into his palm. Youngjae looks at it curiously, opening his fist to find a ring— similar to the one he gave Juyeon years ago—sitting on his hand.</p><p>“Hope you celebrated your 19th well, Youngjae. May you continue to be blessed for years to come.”</p><p>
  <em>He remembered.</em>
</p><p>When he answers, he doesn’t doubt for a second this was the best gift he ever received thus far. “I did. I really did, thank you Juyeon.”</p><p>But on second thoughts, maybe the smile he receives is a tiny bit better than his gift.</p><p> </p><p>The next few weeks have been strange, to say the least. It’s weird settling back to their old routine when they were still young and naive but something’s different, and it shows. It’s not entirely obvious however he had been friends with Juyeon and Sunwoo for such a long time, he can see right through them. Juyeon who had always been relaxed in his presence, has been more rigid than ever and he’s certain it’s because of the envoys coming in and out of the palace that keeps Juyeon on his toes. But the prince exudes professionalism, despite the stiffness in his figure, this comes naturally to him and he talks clearly with so much confidence.</p><p>Youngjae feels dizzy when he thinks about it.</p><p>The prince he knew from his childhood has grown up so much, and he still feels like he’s stuck in the past. It’s nothing negative. In fact, Youngjae is awed by him. He can easily carry a conversation with their foreign guest without stuttering or falling behind.</p><p>Then there’s Sunwoo, who is still as easy-going as ever. During their spare time, Sunwoo would invite him to train or just to bask in each other’s presence; with him around, it’s like nothing has changed. But he knows better. Behind his sunshine-smile, the light never seems to reach his eyes anymore, not like it used to. Now, a storm rages in his dark irises and at any moment, it could swallow him whole from inside out and Youngjae hopes Sunwoo would find it within him to trust Youngjae enough to let all his worries go. He’s hiding something, that much he knows, but he’ll wait for Sunwoo to reveal it when he’s ready.</p><p>However, he knows only he and Juyeon would get the privilege to see this side of Sunwoo.</p><p>In front of esteemed guests, he puts on a steel persona; intimidation that strikes the barest of bones. He eyes everyone with suspicion, and once, Youngjae had become victim to his sharp gaze, calculative and so <em>cold</em>. But all hardened edges soften when the envoys finally leave. They return to their usual selves, the friends <em>he</em> knew. It’s somewhat scary— not that <em>they</em> were scary but rather, this was the result of their quest and he can’t imagine how much it had scarred them.</p><p>As soon as they had sent them off, Juyeon immediately finds him and buries his face into the younger’s hair. Youngjae freezes momentarily, but he can practically feel the weight on the prince’s shoulder and holds him tight. </p><p>“I can’t do this anymore,” Juyeon mumbles, and he strains his ear to catch the words. Pulling back, he looks up so he can listen to him properly.</p><p>“Hm? What do you mean?”</p><p>“I just want to be normal.” The prince elaborates. “I wish I could live amongst the common people… There’re so many things I want to see, I want to know how it feels like to be free of responsibilities, free from the rush to marry, free of royalty. I don’t know if I can do that with the title I have.” </p><p>Youngjae frowns. He knows inheriting the throne has its responsibilities but Juyeon has never once complained. He has always soldiered on resolutely. Still, he lets him spill to his heart’s content, running his fingers through the prince’s hair and emitting a sigh from the man in his arms.</p><p>“What brought this up?”</p><p>“I… I don’t think I’ll be a good king.”</p><p>He ends up choking on his saliva, causing Juyeon to look at him with worry. But he pays him no mind, instead thinking about how that has to be the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard come out of Juyeon’s mouth. Where that idea came from, Youngjae isn’t sure but Juyeon, <em>God</em>, Juyeon would make an absolutely <em>fine </em>king.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>Youngjae waves his hand dismissively, coughing. “Juyeon, that doesn’t matter right now. I really don’t know how you came to that conclusion but you are a wonderful person. No one is perfect, and I ensure you, those flaws are what make you human. We can relate to you, it makes people look up to you<em>. </em>And I’ll tell you this, but <em>I look up to you</em>.  I know you’re worried, understandably so, but the very fact that you’re worried over this makes you fit to become a king. You’re miles better than some nobility who look down on others for not having pureblood or whatever it is they like to spout. Trust me on this, Juyeon. You will be the best king this country has ever known.”</p><p>He didn’t mean to rant but Youngjae doesn’t want to take back his words. Because Juyeon might not be perfect by any means, but he sure comes close to it.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“<em>Really.</em>”</p><p>A whirlpool of emotions seems to pass through Juyeon, before he settles it with a sigh and goes back to resting his head on Youngjae’s. Rubbing his back in a soothing motion, an idea makes itself known to the forefront of his mind. It could very well cost him his life, but what’s life without trying?</p><p>“What if…”</p><p>“What if?” Juyeon prompts.</p><p>“What if we sneak out of the palace?” he says, words tumbling out from his mouth. “We’ll go to town, perhaps make a visit to the villages further down and have a taste of normalcy. But it’s fine if you don’t want to though.”</p><p>It’s fine if he doesn’t want to but he hopes Juyeon would take him on his offer. It’s a good idea, he thinks. If they disguise themselves well, maybe enlist the help of Sunwoo, they can get away with leaving the palace for a few hours. It’s nothing much but it should be enough for them to pretend they don’t have to shoulder any responsibilities, just for once. And maybe, just maybe, Juyeon would find that he’d make a good king if he gets the opportunity to connect with his people on a more personal level.</p><p>“I’d like that,” Juyeon says softly, “Thank you.”</p><p>At that moment, something in the air changes. It’s as if they’ve become impossibly closer than they already are. But he’s glad. Juyeon means a lot to him and he hopes he can at least provide some sort of comfort and relief when things get difficult.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>First thing in the morning and he can hear the rapid knocks on his door, and he shoots out of his bed to open it. Youngjae doesn’t know what he was expecting but it’s definitely not the crown prince standing by the entrance looking absolutely delectable in a billowy shirt and pants that fit snugly around his thighs. If he salivates, he pretends not to notice. </p><p>“Your highness, what brings you here?” he asks, groggily.</p><p>Surprisingly, Juyeon doesn’t comment on his use of formalities. Instead, his eyes are shining as he says, “Remember that offer you gave me?”</p><p>Youngjae looks at him puzzled. He tends to say a lot of things on his mind when he doesn’t mean to, so which one is the prince referring to exactly?</p><p>Racking at his brain, Youngjae makes a guess. “You mean the one where I invited you to sneak out of the palace?”</p><p>“Yes!” Juyeon says, excitedly. “Let’s go now.”</p><p>“<em>Now?</em>”</p><p>“Yes,” he repeats, raising his eyebrows at him. “I already settled things with Sunwoo, so we can easily get there before sunrise. Do you have any other plans?”</p><p>“Well, no, not really. But you want to go, wearing <em>that</em>?” Youngjae says, tone filled with disbelief. </p><p>“Is there something wrong with what I’m wearing?” Juyeon blinks, and Youngjae just wants to bury his head in the ground.</p><p>Everything is wrong with what he’s wearing. He looks too good; he would stick out like a sore thumb. But knowing him, this is probably his most casual attire out of his entire closet so Youngjae will have to yield, whether he likes it or not. Which he does, but Juyeon doesn’t need to know that.</p><p>“No,” he lies, waving him off dismissively. “Not at all.”</p><p>Juyeon eyes him suspiciously but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he wraps his hand around his and pulls him along, heading towards a hidden passageway to make their escape. As they tread silently, careful not to notify the guards patrolling the area, Youngjae realises Sunwoo was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>“Wait!”</p><p>It seems as though Juyeon already knows what he’s about to ask, and answers immediately. “Sunwoo won’t be joining us. Something about him overexerting himself, but he’ll keep an eye out if anybody looks for us.”</p><p>Youngjae tsks. “He never learns how to keep things to a minimum.”</p><p>“Mhm, so it’s just us two. Hope you aren’t too disappointed.”</p><p>“<em>Me?</em> Disappointed? I could never,” he gasps, in a faux scandalised tone. “Not when I get to spend time with my favorite prince.”</p><p>Juyeon nods, in faux arrogance. “That’s what I like to hear."</p><p> </p><p>Walking down the narrow street, Youngjae’s surprised to see how much has changed over the last few weeks. The walls that were once blank and dirtied, have been coloured with beautiful murals and they were painted with such an unconventional form of art, neither Juyeon or him have ever seen before, it leaves them speechless. The drastic change ignites life into the village, details drawn meticulously and interwoven with an intricacy of colours, Youngjae didn’t think would look good together.</p><p>Juyeon seems to be just as fascinated with the murals as he was, running a finger along the patterns. </p><p>But what takes his breath away, is right at the end. Vivid colours creating a stunning image of two kids playing on top of a hill, their silhouette pointing towards the dark hue of the night. And it seems like it still hasn’t been completed, if the figure of a man covered with paint all over was any indicator.</p><p>Pulling on Juyeon’s hand, he hurriedly approaches the stranger.</p><p>“Hi, did you draw all of these?”</p><p>“Yes, I did!” The artist nods, a smile playing on his lips. “But I’m still not finished though,”</p><p>“That’s so cool, it looks really good already. I especially like the one you’re working on right now,” Youngjae gushes, his brain-to-mouth filter switched off. “I’ve never seen anyone create art like this.”</p><p>Touched, the artist lets out a shy chuckle. “I’m fine-tuning the details but that means a lot to me, thank you.”</p><p>“I’m Youngjae, by the way. Are you new here?” he introduces himself, “I usually recognise everyone that comes and goes, but I’ve never seen you around. And this is-”</p><p>“Your highness,” he breathes, dropping into a low bow, with no regard for his paint set that bounces off the ground.</p><p>“Please stand,” Juyeon says, with thinly-veiled panic. “There’s no need to bow.”</p><p>Oh right. It slips from his mind, they’re not here on an official notice. Youngjae can’t help but feel guilty for forgetting that they snuck out of the palace; he shouldn’t be running his mouth off and risk the prince getting in trouble.</p><p>Hopefully no one else had seen them, he thinks sheepishly.</p><p>“Your work is astounding,” Juyeon says after the artist heeds his request. “What’s your name?”</p><p>“Thank you, Your Highness. It’s Hyungseo, my name is Hyungseo.”</p><p>“Are you from around here?” the prince asks, and Hyungseo shakes his head.</p><p>“No, I come from far away. I don’t think anyone could reach the moon even if they tried,” Hyungseo laughs, eyes glinting and he almost feels unsettled, despite the lighthearted delivery. “Everything is so new to me here.”</p><p>“Have you explored the area?” Juyeon leans forward, interested in his reply.  “There’s so many places that are worth checking out. It’d be a waste if you didn’t.”</p><p>“I’ve yet to leave the village and go further out. I haven’t really gotten the chance to see what’s here to offer.”</p><p>Youngjae opens his mouth to extend an invitation to the palace, when Juyeon interjects, “You should come by the palace someday.” to which both Hyungseo and him whip their heads towards the crown prince in shock.</p><p>“Your Highness, I don’t know what to say…”</p><p>“Well, you could accept my offer?”</p><p>“Um, give me a moment. I need to process it clearly.”</p><p>“You should do it quickly, then. Otherwise, I’ll take it as a rejection!” it’s just teasing on Juyeon’s part, but Youngjae finds it cute when Hyungseo turns even more flustered.</p><p>“Oh my God, no. I wouldn’t even dream of refusing your invitation.” Hyungseo hurriedly shakes his head. “It’d be an honour, Sire.”</p><p>The prince grins in delight. “I’ll be looking forward to your visit then.”</p><p>Unfortunately, they couldn’t stay for long because Youngjae still has more places to show Juyeon, and they have to be back before the sun sets. Bidding goodbye to Hyungseo, the artist winks and promises not to let it slip that they snuck out of the palace, to which Youngjae laughs while the prince thanks him.</p><p> </p><p>“I have someone I want you to meet,” Youngjae says, excited. “A childhood friend of mine. We used to play together before my father took me in. He’s a fantastic cook, but I like his baked goods most.”</p><p>Speak of the devil and he shall appear. The very baker he mentions is right across the street, arguing with a kid probably trying to steal food from the stands and he vaguely recognises the child from his trips to the orphanage.</p><p>“Chanhee,” the baker looks at him surprised as Youngjae jogs towards them, then kneeling so he could be on eye-level with the little boy. Rummaging through his pocket, he pulls out a wrapped candy and hands it to him. “Come, have this.”</p><p>The child takes it, running soon after with not even a word of thanks, but he does hear it from Chanhee who sighs in frustration. “Thank you…”</p><p>Youngjae shrugs, nonchalantly and turns around to see Juyeon looking at him with an unreadable expression. He’s curious, but he doesn’t think it’s his place to ask, so he introduces him to his friend instead.</p><p>“This is Chanhee, the baker I told you about.”</p><p>Chanhee looks at him, then at Juyeon and a gasp leaves his lips. His reaction isn’t clumsy nor overly dramatic, but he’s quick to lower his head, muttering lowly. “Your Highness.”</p><p>“Pleasant to finally meet you, Youngjae’s told many stories.”</p><p>“An honour, Sire.” Chanhee replies, although it’s tinged with sarcasm directed towards him and Youngjae grins impishly. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” he adds.</p><p>“What was he trying to do?”</p><p>“Some days, food becomes scarce and kids around the area tend to find other means to source for food. We do have people chipping in to provide for them, but unfortunately, it’s not enough to last a good while.”</p><p>Youngjae nods, solemnly. “Chanhee’s one of the people who bring them meals, but there are braver kids who take advantage of it. I like keeping wrapped candies on me just to pacify for them, just this moment.”</p><p>“What can I do to help?” the prince frowns, unable to hide his distaste towards the situation.</p><p>“We do need a benefactor to foot the bill, and that would be more than enough,” Chanhee answers, forgetting all sense of dignity and shame. “But it already means a lot that Your Highness is even considering it. Please, take these as thanks for helping me with the child and for your offer.”</p><p>The baker hands them a paper container, warm to the touch and Youngjae opens the lid to reveal a heavenly aroma. “You’ve outdone yourself, Chanhee.” </p><p>“Say that again when you actually take a bite,” he rolls his eyes, but the baker thanks him nonetheless and waves goodbye when it’s time for them to leave.</p><p> </p><p>Walking aimlessly, Youngjae tugs on Juyeon’s sleeve and the prince helplessly follows along to a spot nicely shaded by the tree. Youngjae plops onto the ground, patting the space beside him and watches, pleased as Juyeon heeds his gesture.</p><p>Opening his container, he’s greeted with a bun still steaming, and it smells wonderful too. Just as he’s about to take a bite, it occurs to him that he’s literally sitting with the prince and he’s forgetting all his etiquettes. </p><p>“I’m sorry, do you mind?”</p><p>Juyeon’s eyes crinkle prettily. “Go ahead, I’ll eat after you.”</p><p>“Sounds like you’re trying to see if Chanhee poisoned the food,” he says with faux suspicion, laughing soon after when Juyeon quickly raises his arms to form an ‘X’ shape.</p><p>Biting into the bun, the sweet filling overpowers his senses and Youngjae moans happily. He probably looks really messy right now, but he can’t find it within him to care as a thought flitters through his mind.</p><p>“I wonder… Is there another opening for a kitchen staff?” he muses, taking another bite out of the bun. “I’m thinking if Chanhee would consider applying for a job in the palace and—”</p><p>All his plans of finding ways to get his childhood friend to work in the palace, fly out of the window when Juyeon brushes a finger lightly over the corner of his mouth.</p><p>“You had cream on your lips.”</p><p>
  <em>Oh my God.</em>
</p><p>Youngjae chokes on his food, coughing violently. His ears are burning, and he can feel a flask pushing his lips open and swallows the water eagerly. Juyeon pats his back, gentle and asks him worriedly.</p><p>“Are you okay now?”</p><p>No, he is <em>not</em> okay.</p><p>“Yes, I am. Thank you,” he says, instead.</p><p>Youngjae licks his lips clean, trying his best to ignore the way Juyeon’s eyes glaze over the movement. There must’ve been something in his food, because Juyeon looks with an intensity that leaves him frozen, and he’s not sure how to proceed. </p><p>What should a mere mortal like him do, when faced with a prince who looks like heaven on Earth?</p><p>“You missed a bit,” Juyeon says, pointing towards the same place where he… Where he wiped it off earlier. Youngjae looks at him, flustered and confused. Didn’t Juyeon already do that…</p><p>Wiping his mouth with a napkin that Chanhee had kindly provided for them, he asks. “Is it still there?”</p><p>“Come here,” Juyeon beckons, and Youngjae scoots nearer to him until Juyeon holds him still, and all he can feel is the soft lips that press briefly against the corner of his mouth. “There, all gone.”</p><p>The prince smiles when he sees his dazed expression, resting his forehead against Youngjae’s. He feels all too mindful of their position, hyper aware of everything; at this distance, he could count each individual eyelash and they fan his cheek prettily, Youngjae thinks his heart is about to jump out of his chest. It’s too loud, his heartbeat is too loud. </p><p>“I really enjoyed today,” Juyeon says softly, breath mingling with his. </p><p>“I’m glad,” Youngjae murmurs, not wanting to break the peaceful atmosphere they’ve set for themselves. The prince brushes away the strands stuck to his forehead, his gaze all soft and full of an emotion Youngjae is too scared to describe.</p><p>Breaking eye contact, he’s ambushed with the thought that he’s full of himself for assuming Juyeon might even reciprocate an inkling of his own feelings. But the thought dies when something warm presses against his forehead gently and Youngjae pulls away, surprised.</p><p>“You think too much.”</p><p>“No, I don’t…”</p><p>“You do, don’t deny it.” Juyeon tsks, then he brings his hand to caress his cheek. “Thank you, it means a lot that you went through all this for me.”</p><p>Youngjae takes pride in his ability to be quick-witted but he’s rendered speechless by the prince, and the familiar warmth against his forehead just minutes earlier, is now pressed directly to his lips. Only then, it processes his mind that <em>Juyeon is kissing him</em>. Willing himself to respond, he follows the prince’s lead and kisses him back into oblivion.</p><p>He doesn’t know how much time has passed; the languid movement of their lips make him feel like he’s been with Juyeon for an eternity. Unfortunately, he’s human and he needs to breathe so he reluctantly parts from him, admiring the way Juyeon looks absolutely ravished. He can’t believe he caused <em>that</em>. If someone were to point out that he wasn’t any better, cheeks blooming red from the light pecks placed on them, he refuses to admit it.</p><p>(When he returns home that night, Youngjae can’t hide the bounce in his step and his mother looks at him with a glint in her eye. It’s almost embarrassing when she makes an off-handed comment that he must’ve been with Juyeon earlier. But the happiness is short-lived when he’s lying in bed, and the realisation sinks in that kissing the prince would warrant a beheading… <em>God, he is so screwed.</em>)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it’s not even funny that i might end up posting the last chapter on the anniversary i opened this document, at the rate that im //editing this fic.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The kingdom has a tradition. They would hold a banquet to celebrate the good deeds of their people, and it’s something Youngjae quite appreciates, actually. It’s something of recent development, only beginning the year he was born and catalysed the meeting of his parents.</p><p>The banquet is unlike their winter solstice balls, where only the elite are invited. Everyone mingles together, taking the opportunity to blur the disparity between the rich and the common people, and an invitation to the banquet is considered a great honour. Here, titles aren’t important, but no matter who, they still try their best to impress the king because here, everyone has played a part in flourishing the kingdom’s economy. He loves it, he loves that the people are considered the royal’s pride and joy.</p><p>There are people he recognises, from envoys sent by neighbouring kingdoms to high ranking officials, along with newly appointed workers. There are some he’s familiar with, from his secret endeavours to town, and there some he never expected to be here- two of them being the regal figures of men he’s only ever seen in the pages of his history books.Their appearance reminds him that despite the banquet is meant to be the one moment everyone can forget about their difference in rankings, Youngjae is exempted from that as his father expects him to be on his best behaviour as to not dirty his family’s reputation.</p><p>The only person he wishes to see hasn’t appeared, and it strikes a chord within him. Ever since that fateful day, Juyeon has been avoiding him and it wasn’t even inconspicuously. He feels so unnecessarily awkward, and it <em> hurts. </em>Sure, he may have hoped his feelings for the crown prince was reciprocated but he’s beginning to think it was more wishful thinking and Juyeon was simply testing the waters. But he knows his assumptions are rooted in insecurity, Juyeon has never been that type of person. He just wants to believe that’s the case, and maybe it would hurt less if Juyeon had acted like nothing ever happened instead of ignoring him and slipping away whenever they crossed paths.</p><p>Rationally, he also knows he can’t confront Juyeon, not when today is meant to be a special occasion for the three major kingdoms have finally agreed on a peace treaty. It turns out, this is the reason for Juyeon’s voyage to the Land beyond the Seas when they were still teenagers. Their kingdom used to be something sort of a myth to his people, and the fact that Juyeon had successfully made his way there and earned their Majesties, Younghoon and Changmin’s respect is something to be celebrated.</p><p>When Juyeon shows his face, he is giving a speech and Youngjae can’t help but become awestruck with how well he holds himself. Juyeon stands tall, switching between languages seamlessly to address his people, the neighbouring kingdoms and their envoys. He speaks with confidence, a stark contrast to the shy little boy he met as a kid.</p><p>Juyeon has grown so much.</p><p>“Sohn Youngjae,” a smooth voice greets him, teasing. A face follows soon after, and Youngjae looks in pleasant surprise. He didn’t think His Royal Highness would come today.</p><p>“Your Highness,” he bows in respect.</p><p>“Stop that, it sounds strange when you don’t call me Hyunjae,” the prince scolds him in a light-hearted manner.</p><p>Youngjae grins in response. He misses this; he misses talking to Jaehyun. The older man has always been a joy to be Jaehyun, but they don’t get many chances to meet each other as Jaehyun has his royal duties to attend to, with the prince being second in line to the throne, right after His Majesty, Sangyeon. But Youngjae is well acquainted with the two of them, having met each other at many social gatherings being set up between the two kingdoms prior to the treaty.</p><p>Rightfully, his birth name is Lee Jaehyun but when they were still children playing with plastic swords; Youngjae would jokingly refer to him as Hyunjae and they would act like brothers, rather than simple acquaintances. Youngjae looks up to him that way, and the prince was just as accepting, telling him to change his surname to Lee so they could pass off as real brothers.</p><p>“Yes, Sir!” he salutes, playfully.</p><p>“You’re annoying,” Jaehyun rolls his eyes. “Where’s Juyeon? I haven’t had a chance to talk to him yet,” he says, looking around. Jaehyun drops the pretense of being all formal with him, and he knows it’s not out of ill-intent. They were a tight knit pair, so Jaehyun doesn’t bother referring to Juyeon by his title. “Usually, he would hang around you, but seems like that isn’t the case today.”</p><p>Youngjae’s smile fades into a frown, and Jaehyun raises an eyebrow at the action.</p><p>“How curious…”</p><p>“Curious? What do you mean?”</p><p>“You and Juyeon,” he says, bluntly. “What’s going on between you both?”</p><p>“Oh, that.”</p><p>“<em> Oh? </em> What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“Absolutely nothing,” he answers, dismissively. It’s the truth, nothing has happened between them since <em> that </em> day.</p><p>Jaehyun taps his foot impatiently, “I’m not exactly blind, Youngjae. I know you too well to let it slip past me so easily. I’m sure you’re aware you can tell me anything, right?”</p><p>“I’m not so sure about that,” he says, doubt leaking into his voice. It’s for giggles, really. He’s fully aware he can trust the prince. Jaehyun grunts, inconspicuously shoving him with his shoulder. If anyone notices, none of them mention how unlike a royal Jaehyun acts around him. If they ask, Jaehyun doesn’t hesitate to tell them that it’s fine, he’s his sworn brother.</p><p>They continue to banter back and forth, just like they always have until Jaehyun stiffens when a man passes behind, discreetly grazing his hand against the small of his back and it sends warning signals to Youngjae. But the prince turns around, relaxing when he sees the culprit, so he does too. Observing the older man, he notices the tension leave his shoulders and his eyes crinkle into a fond expression.</p><p>“You seem happy.”</p><p>“I am, I really am.”</p><p>“Mind telling me about him?”</p><p>Jaehyun sighs, looking more and more like a lovestruck fool. “His name is Joonyoung, and he’s someone I never thought I would cross paths with, but I’m so glad I did, Youngjae. I could go into a spiral telling you all about him, but it’ll take too long so I’ll spare the details. But you’d like him. Everyone always does.”</p><p>Youngjae is happy for him. Truly. He’s glad someone he looks up to as an older brother has found someone who makes him feel like he’s on cloud nine. And he tells him exactly that.</p><p>The prince shoots him a grin, ruffling his hair.</p><p>“I’ll introduce you to him one day, I think you’d get along quite well with him,” Jaehyun says, eyes softening. “But for now, tell me what’s going on with you and the beloved crown prince.”</p><p>Youngjae groans internally. Fine.</p><p>“We kissed.”</p><p>“You kissed…” Jaehyun repeats. “Wait, <em> you what? </em>”</p><p>If he’s not losing his mind over the possibility he might have ruined whatever relationship he had with Juyeon before it even started, he would’ve found Jaehyun’s reaction entertaining. </p><p>Letting out a deep breath, he elaborates. “Yeah, it was fine and dandy, everything was going well that day but he suddenly began avoiding me days after. I don’t think I’ve spoken more than 5 words to him these past few weeks.”</p><p>“I hate to say it, but it <em> hurts. </em>” he admits, a bittersweet grin making its way to his lips. “Even if he didn’t see me anything else other than a close companion, I don’t want him to pretend I don’t exist.”</p><p>Jaehyun rubs his shoulders comfortingly. “I’m gonna let you in a little secret; I know you probably know Juyeon better than I do, but he’s definitely not the type to simply ignore someone just because he can. There must be something he hasn’t been sharing, whether he tells you on his own accord or you probe him for answers, it’s not my decision to make. But Youngjae… The prince looks at you like you’re his entire universe. I’m sure whatever he’s dealing with, he’ll settle it soon.”</p><p>Youngjae repeats Jaehyun’s words in his head like a mantra.</p><p>
  <em> The prince looks at you like you’re his entire universe </em>
</p><p>He doesn’t know whether to believe him, and feel somewhat happy that someone thinks that’s how Juyeon looks at him or laugh mockingly because that could only happen in his wildest dreams.</p><p>“We’ll see about that, but thanks.” he says, half-heartedly. “You should ask him for a dance in the gardens, by the way. It’s a beautiful night.” </p><p>“I will, but seriously though, heed my words. I know what I’m talking about.”</p><p>Youngjae nods to appease him, bowing as he leaves the ballroom silently. He’ll deal with it somehow. Walking mindlessly, Youngjae greets the guests with a smile as they pass him by. There isn’t any destination in mind, he just needs to leave. His eyes glaze over the sea of people, trying to catch a glimpse of the crown prince. Maybe if he sees him, he can finally tell what he’s supposed to think and feel. But he fails to find him, and Youngjae gives up.</p><p>If he’s not gonna show up, then Youngjae hopes he never appears in front of him.</p><p>He crosses the courtyard and into the part of the garden well hidden from the ballroom. Youngjae leans his back against the bark of a tree, feeling the exhaustion seep into him. He figures having time alone would allow him to gather his thoughts, and for a few minutes, he does find some peace of mind. But it’s broken when he hears his name carry through the wind.</p><p>“Youngjae, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”</p><p>He curses internally. <em> Why did it have to be him? </em></p><p>His thoughts have been a mess because of him, and to make matters worse, he just <em> had to </em> appear right before and call his name ever so sweetly. Youngjae wants to ignore him, but he knows his place. But if he were to voice out his thoughts, Juyeon would immediately try to quell it even when they both know it’s true— he has to bow down to the prince.</p><p>“Your Highness.”</p><p>An unreadable expression flickers on Juyeon’s face, before he settles onto a tight smile.</p><p>“You know you can call me by my name.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Youngjae shifts his gaze elsewhere, knowing he won’t be able to hold himself back from doing something—<em> anything </em> <em> — </em> to Juyeon.</p><p>The prince takes a step closer, and another, and once more until Youngjae could feel the warmth radiate right next to him. Only then, does he notice the cool air caressing his skin, sending shivers down his spine. It dissipates quickly as Juyeon wraps his cloak around his shoulder and his breath hitches.</p><p>He dares to steal a glance, but Juyeon had already turned away before he could catch a glimpse of an awestruck Youngjae. The stars blink curiously as Juyeon directs his gaze towards the sky, and Youngjae takes this chance to take in every detail of the crown prince; he memorises the slope of his nose to the curl of his lip, entranced with the grace of his movement when Juyeon reaches his hand out towards the stars. In the back of his mind, he can’t help but think Juyeon belongs to the sky— so bright and beautiful.</p><p>Youngjae knows he shouldn’t feel this way but Juyeon makes him feel like he’s floating.</p><p>The prince shifts his body to look back at him, and Youngjae’s eyes land on his lips, vaguely remembering Juyeon’s mouth on his, the taste of the steamed bun overpowering his senses. Those very lips form shapes, and Youngjae has to take a moment to realise Juyeon had spoken. It must’ve shown on his face, because a soft smile blooms on the prince’s face.</p><p>“May I have this dance?”</p><p>Juyeon holds his hand out, a temptation too hard to resist. Youngjae stares at him, cursing his inability to decline the prince’s offer as he grasps his free hand. Heat crawls across his skin, the sensation of Juyeon snaking his other hand around his waist sparks a light within him.</p><p>They fall into step with each other, swaying to the faint tune that floats through the air. It’s slow and languid, easing the tension in Youngjae’s body. This is something he’s used to— dancing with Juyeon like this. It reminds him of their childhood days when Juyeon would practice his moves with him, all clumsy and uncertain. It was cute, Juyeon was cute. The only difference now is the confidence Juyeon exudes as he takes the lead in their dance.</p><p>The almost-comfortable silence is broken when Juyeon speaks, guilt crossing his face. </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>Youngjae doesn’t reply, the only sign of acknowledgement he gives is the unwavering stare on Juyeon. He wants to listen to his reasons, wants to know what Juyeon has to say for himself. Even if it’s a crappy excuse, he knows he’ll have to accept it either way. Not <em> just </em> because he’s the crown prince, but because it’s Juyeon, and Youngjae will always take his word for it.</p><p>“I told my father about us,” Juyeon begins, and Youngjae widens his eyes in shock because he did <em> what? </em> “He didn’t say it outright, but I know him. I know what he means.”</p><p>A weight settles uncomfortably in his chest, and Youngjae isn’t stupid, he can already guess where this is going. Saving himself from the hurt he’s bound to feel, he tries to break free from Juyeon’s hold, but the hands that grip his waist tighten.</p><p>“He wants me to marry a princess,” he continues, eyes burning straight into his soul. Youngjae pretends it doesn’t set his heart aflame and waits for him to elaborate. “I thought I should abide by his command, because he knows what’s best for me.”</p><p>Juyeon has always been a filial son, he knows this but <em> oh, how it aches. </em> The king is kind and he treats his people well, he treats <em> him </em> well but with each passing minute, his gut twists further into a dead knot. It’s too much for him to handle, so forgive him if he can’t see His Majesty in a positive light.</p><p>“But Youngjae, I couldn’t…”</p><p>Youngjae stares at him, dumbly. The words fly over his head— <em>I couldn’t, I couldn’t, I couldn’t. </em></p><p>“I told him I couldn’t, and do you know why?”</p><p>He shakes his head, no.</p><p>“Every thought that crosses my mind is of you. I’ve tried and tried and <em> tried </em>, but it’s futeless, it took me too long to accept it and I’m so sorry for that, Youngjae. I missed you, so much it hurt. I can’t imagine myself with anyone else but you.”</p><p>Acting on impulse, Youngjae slings his arms around Juyeon, pulling him down so he could kiss him senseless. The prince freezes and for a moment, he almost thinks that maybe Juyeon might’ve changed his decision in that split-second. That is, until the man reciprocates and takes the lead.</p><p>Pulling away, he says breathily, “Your Highness.”</p><p>“Juyeon,” the prince corrects, stealing a quick kiss.</p><p>“Okay Juyeon,” Youngjae rolls his eyes playfully, and giggles. “You taste sweet.”</p><p>“Really? How do I taste?”</p><p>Youngjae lets a cheeky smile peek through. “Wait, I’m not sure. Let me check again.”</p><p>He flutters his eyes close, brushing their lips together teasingly and struggles to contain his smile when Juyeon groans in complaint, prodding his tongue at his bottom lip. Youngjae angles his head upwards, deepening the kiss. It sparks and burns, and it feels like the stars have aligned itself for this to happen.</p><p>Breaking apart, Youngjae buries his face in his hands, heat crawling up his neck in embarrassment, and he’s not usually shy but there’s an overwhelming emotion that seizes his chest as Juyeon holds him close.</p><p>“So how do I taste?”</p><p>Youngjae peeks through the gaps of his fingers, pouting at the obvious mischief on Juyeon’s face, and exhales deeply.</p><p>You taste— you taste of stardust.”</p><p>Juyeon’s eyes crinkle, and the smile that breaks out is blinding, so much that he nearly combusts inside because Youngjae made that happen. He’s the reason for the beautiful expression. In the back of his mind, Youngjae notes that he’d like to make him happy for days to come.</p><p>The prince pulls him close, leaning in to whisper, “I love you, Youngjae.” and presses a soft but searing kiss onto his lips.</p><p>It becomes increasingly difficult for him to breath, Youngjae could feel an entire galaxy fill his lungs but thankfully, he doesn’t need to say anything more, trusting that Juyeon will know what he means. Just in case, he reassures him by letting his lips answer, without uttering another word.</p><p> </p><p>Since then, they would sneak kisses here and there, in hidden corners and broom closets, sharing hushed giggles. He likes this, he likes that Juyeon doesn’t shy away from any act of intimacy, and neither does he. And Youngjae must say, he might possibly be the happiest he’s ever been.</p><p>Lips bruised and hair disheveled, he tiptoes around the corner cautiously, in case someone was there to catch him red-handed. Fortunately for him, no one was nearby but he could see from far away, a few officials whispering back and forth, furiosity clear on their faces and perhaps it could be unfounded, but suspicion rises within him, and Youngjae moves closer to them, footsteps light, barely audible and hides behind the pillar- close enough to eye them and catch a few words.</p><p>He doesn’t hear much, but it’s enough to piece out that a plan has set into motion.</p><p>Youngjae recognises them, they’re men who work closely with his father but he has never mentioned a word of what his job entails so he figures they must be the reason why he hasn’t shown his face around the house lately. This however, leaves an unsettling feeling to churn in his stomach, and Youngjae tries to behave naturally as he walks past them, bowing his head in respect as they glance at him with barely-disguised caution. </p><p>He wants to believe it’s the discomfort he feels around them, or he just isn’t feeling well, and Youngjae mulls over what they could possibly have talked about tens of thousand times over, but he can’t find anything that seems plausible. </p><p>
  <em> What is going on? </em>
</p><p>He doesn’t get to dwell on it any further because he bumps into Chanhee, who has been, to his pleasant surprise, hired as their resident cook. Apprentice would be a better word but semantics. From the gossiping words of the maidens bustling about, Chanhee was employed upon Juyeon’s request which brought up rumors of him having some sort of intimate relationship with the crown prince. They couldn’t be more wrong.</p><p>With Chanhee around, the infamous trio including Juyeon, Sunwoo and Youngjae turn into a mess of 4 bumbling idiots- Sunwoo’s words, not his. He has, however, heard some people describe them as headaches, or more accurately, pains in the ass, in hushed voices for fear of being beheaded.</p><p>Slinging his arm around the man’s thin figure, he cackles loudly when the man flinches in shock. Chanhee glares at him but he doesn’t bother shrugging him off, instead crossing his arms and Youngjae mutters an apology, an impish smile still present on his face. In the back of his mind, he wonders if the cook has heard anything because he always seems to know more than he implies.</p><p>As is his nature, Youngjae tries to bring it up as nonchalantly as he can. Which is not at all.</p><p>“Have you heard anything lately?”</p><p>Chanhee purses his lips. “Spit it out clearly, which ones are you talking about? There’s a lot of things to be heard when I’m in the palace.</p><p>Youngjae says brightly as some staff scurry by, “Anything really,” then lowering his voice. “In particular, anything with the higher ups, the same people my father works with.”</p><p>Chanhee furrows his brows, keeping silent for a moment as Youngjae gives him time to think of any instances he could have heard about the officials that work in the palace. After a few minutes, he shakes his head in response and Youngjae feels some sort of displaced relief and disappointment flood him. Relieved that he may be overthinking it, yet disappointed that he hasn’t found any intel that could rid of this aching suspicion he has.</p><p>“Not that I can think of anything, but now that you mention it, I’ve noticed them act more on edge than usual recently. It’s weird now that I think about it. Why are you asking?”</p><p>“Nothing, just heard something around the corner.” he says dismissively and waves Chanhee off when he narrows his eyes suspiciously.</p><p>“Youngjae…”</p><p>“Listen, I’m not sure and I don’t want to jump to conclusions,” Youngjae tells him firmly. “But I’m asking for a favour, if you hear anything about a plan, please tell me immediately. I really don’t feel good about this.”</p><p>“Fine,” he acquiesces, but not without shooting a warning glare. “As soon as you figure out what’s going on, I expect to be filled in the details.”</p><p>“I will, don’t worry.”</p><p>It’s a high order, Chanhee worries and he worries a lot, but there’s not much else he can say besides that. </p><p> </p><p>The first thing he notices that morning is the disgusted expressions sent his way, and it’s nothing he’s not used to, but they seem to be more intense this day. Youngjae is usually good at ignoring them, but there’s something vile in the way they look at him that it disturbs him more than he realises.</p><p>Then it had been insults, hurled towards him with no mercy, and it takes him a moment to sift through all the derogatory terms and he can only make out comments of him daring to step into the palace after what his father did, and perhaps the confusion must be clear on his face because someone else mocks him for not knowing that the kingdom has gone into disarray due to an attempted assasination.</p><p>Youngjae isn’t stupid, he could piece two and two together, but he feels like throwing up and runs away while he could still think rationally.</p><p>He doesn’t even know where he’s heading, mind still hazy from moments earlier, all he knows is that he needs to get out of here quick. He doesn’t even process the tug on his wrist as he’s pulled into a narrow hallway, hidden from plain sight and he has to blink a few times to focus onto an image of a worried Sunwoo.</p><p>“Did you know?”</p><p>He opens his mouth to speak, but the words get stuck in his throat.</p><p>“Youngjae, tell me. Did you know?” Sunwoo grabs his shoulders, almost roughly and shakes him. “Your father attempted His Majesty’s life.”</p><p>And it’s those words that shatter the glass, and he answers almost hysterically. “No, I didn’t.”</p><p>“Okay, okay.” the knight says, loosening his shoulders in relief. “I trust you.”</p><p>“What’s going on, Sunny? I woke up and it’s like I stepped foot into the gates of hell, I don’t understand anything.”</p><p>Youngjae asks, the depths of his fear become boundless, he’s not sure if he wants to hear the answer and what Sunwoo says next leaves his blood run cold.</p><p>“Your father… he’s one of the few noblemen involved in trying to overthrow the kingdom. No one really knows the details, but it spread like wildfire this morning, the guards are seizing anyone affiliated with the traitors.”</p><p>“So you mean…”</p><p>All the hushed whispers, the plan setting into motion, those men he saw literally a day earlier… And it boiled down to this.</p><p>“You shouldn’t be here. Please be careful, the others have seen you and I can’t be around to protect you, the King is calling for the knights and the palace guards to gather.”</p><p>“I’m scared, Sunwoo.”</p><p>“I know, Jae,” Sunwoo squeezes his hand, whether it was to comfort him or for his own reassurance, Younjae’s not really sure. “I know.”</p><p>They seperate on opposite ends, but a sudden thought crosses his mind and all rationality flies out the window.</p><p><em> He needs to find Juyeon </em>.</p><p>Youngjae turns back, making his way through the same path Sunwoo had gone off to. He should leave, rush back home and make sure his family is safe, but he needs to find Juyeon— let him know he never meant any of this to happen. </p><p>Thing is, the way to Juyeon’s private chambers means he would have to pass by the throne room and just as he thought, he can see His Majesty with a furious expression on his face. The atmosphere feels tense and Youngjae freezes behind the pillar, and Sunwoo who knelt before the King, happened to catch the slight movement, shooting a warning glance as if he knew it was him.</p><p>“Lock them up.”</p><p>Three words. All it took were three words to send blood rushing to his ears.</p><p>“All of them, spare no one.”</p><p>He doesn’t wait to hear the King’s next orders, discreetly creeping away from the throne room so he could quickly meet Juyeon. Nearing his chamber, he brings his fist to knock rapidly at the door, watching it swing open and it nearly punches the wind out of him.</p><p>For the first time, Youngjae calls him by his name.</p><p>“Juyeon…”</p><p>He looks sunken, staring at him with weary eyes, and it’s such a stark contrast from the prince he saw the day before. </p><p>“Was it all a lie?”</p><p>The question is charged with so many emotions, especially hurt and it becomes so unbearable, he struggles to breathe normally. Still, he came here with a purpose and tells him clearly.</p><p>“No, I wouldn’t dare do that to you.”</p><p>Even if he doesn’t make it— doesn’t survive the outcome of his father’s crimes, he needs Juyeon to know that everything he ever felt towards him was true.</p><p>“Okay, I believe you.” And the wind carries the words ever so softly, he almost fails to catch it. When he does, Youngjae’s mouth drops. He was ready to present his case if Juyeon had thought him a traitor like his father, but the prince had been so willing to accept it that it leaves him shocked. Youngjae opens his mouth to say his thanks but a large hand covers his mouth and pulls him into the room, muffling his words as his back slams against the wall.</p><p>Then he hears it.</p><p>
  <em> Guards have been dispatched to find him and the women in his family. </em>
</p><p>“Youngjae, listen to me,” Juyeon grips his shoulders firmly, and Youngjae’s shifts his attention to him, eyes widened in panic. The weight of his hands brings a sense of stability and he lets out a few deep breaths, focusing on Juyeon’s figure. “Remember when we used to play hide-and-seek, the day you got scarred?”</p><p>Youngjae nods, numbly. Where is Juyeon going with this?</p><p>“I went to visit it one day, it’s a hidden passageway and leads to the outskirts of the kingdom. Go there, and quickly get to your family. I’ll find you by the port.”</p><p>Juyeon slips out of the door first, pulling Youngjae from behind gently in an attempt to hurry him along. His chest tightens as he’s forced to let go of his hands so he could go through the pathway Juyeon had shown his. As he turns around the corner, he can hear the sound of a guard asking the prince if he’s seen the traitor’s son, and a bittersweet amusement crawls up his throat when Juyeon’s reply fades into the background. He had last seen him in the library last night, lies the prince.</p><p>He makes his way through the dark pathway, literally running in blind but his footsteps are heavy, and it finally dawns on him that this is happening. His father had actually betrayed the kind, and because of his actions, they’re after his family. Reaching towards the end, the light begins to peek through and he can see the vicinity of his house come into sight, and he lets out a sigh of relief when he sees the lamps inside were lit. They have time, not much but just enough. So he runs, and runs, and runs until he’s at the entrance, sliding in the key and opening the door.</p><p>“Youngjae?” his mother notes with surprise. “You’re back early.”</p><p>“Mother, pack your things quickly. We have to leave.”</p><p>“What do you mean? What’s happening?”</p><p>He looks on hesitantly. “The King has warranted an arrest. They’re coming here.”</p><p>A weight tugs at his heart, heavy when he notices his mother’s eyes turn glassy.</p><p>“So he did it, after all.” </p><p>Youngjae doesn’t have time to question what she means, because she tells him to wake his sister, pointing him towards her room as she quickens her footsteps to pack necessities into a small luggage, while hurrying them to stables.</p><p>Once they’re ready, Youngjae lets his sister ride on ahead while he helps lift his mother onto a horse, so he could accompany her. To provide her comfort and keep her safe, or to keep his sanity in check, he’s not sure. He knows his family is strong-willed, they’ve always been, but he doesn’t know if any of them can handle it this time. </p><p>He just hopes the three of them together will be enough to survive.</p><p> </p><p>It doesn’t take long for them to arrive at the port, Youngjae greeted by the sight of Juyeon handling the ship with ease. “Go,” his mother tells him, and Youngjae wants to protest but she repeats firmly. “Go talk to him, your sister and I can handle ourselves.”</p><p>Without another minute of hesitation, Youngjae quickly boards the ship while the women in his family lag behind. <em> They’re strong. </em>He knows this so he listens.</p><p>“Juyeon,” he grabs onto his sleeve, and the prince turns around, eyes manic with worry.</p><p>“Thank goodness, you’re safe,” Juyeon sighs in relief, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. “I wasn’t sure if my men are capable enough to catch you in time.”</p><p>In spite of the dire situation at hand, Youngjae teases him. “That doesn’t sound so good to me,” to which Juyeon rolls his eyes. His attempt at lightening the mood fails miserably because the prince looks at him solemnly, hands resting on his shoulder as if he was trying to ground himself in this moment.</p><p>“Listen to me carefully, okay? You are to sail to the Land beyond the Seas. There’s a journal in the cabin, a map detailing alternate courses to your destination, in case the sea isn’t merciful. It'll be risky but God, if this isn’t the safest way.”</p><p>Then, as a promise, Youngjae presses their lips together. A desperate attempt to engrave the feel of Juyeon into his memory before he leaves for good. Painstakingly, he parts from him and it hurts, <em> so so much. </em></p><p>“There’s not much time left, I have to go…”</p><p>Juyeon gently brushes his thumb over his cheek, wiping away a stray tear, and only then, he realises he had been crying.</p><p>“I only ask one thing of you,” the prince murmurs. “Please, stay safe.”</p><p>It brings him back to when they were 16, Youngjae asking the same thing to Juyeon and he promised him he would, even went so far as to keep his end of the deal. It’s only right for Youngjae to do the same, even if it doesn’t seem so possible.</p><p>“Always,” he echoes, squeezing his hand as reassurance and Juyeon leaves the ship, reluctance evident in his movement.  With a heavy heart, he calls out to Juyeon just before they set sail. “My prince, I’m sorry,” he lets the words spill from his lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you sooner.”</p><p>Whether he hears it or not, Youngjae would never be able to find out because the figure of the man he loves, gradually becomes smaller and so does his heart. He could faintly feel arms wrap around his shoulders, turning around to see his mother look at him with weary eyes, cheeks sunken and the weight sinks deep into his chest as he thinks about how he didn’t just lose a lover, but he lost a father, a friend, a home, and his second chance at life. </p><p>With that realisation, he collapses like a dying star.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When he was still young, Youngjae would listen to the elders praise his livelihood, exuding vibrance as he worked hard without complaint, a smile permanently fixed on his face. Other kids his age would be busy messing around, and sometimes he’d join them, but he usually could be found helping out his mother with simple tasks just so she wouldn’t have to worry her head over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If only they could look at him now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So many things have changed as the years passed by, Youngjae couldn’t maintain the same youth he had before- can’t fake a smile, can’t pretend everything is fine when it’s not. Things are different now. That day had changed the trajectory of his life. Unfortunately, Youngjae never reached the Land beyond the Seas, for the weather had been unkind, laughing mockingly at their fate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His family had washed ashore, in a small village far from the palace, but still within the kingdom’s bounds. Still, it was risky but he could manage it. All that matters is that he and his family are safe and settling in nicely, finding refuge in the woods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trees have become his friends, telling him tales and shading him from the burning sun. They accompany him on his journey to the village, protecting him from the curious eyes of the locals, not that he minded. Youngjae has always been scrutinised, this wouldn’t be the first time. Still, he’d rather listen to the whispers of the trees that carry through the wind; rumours of a star descending from the sky to touch the Earth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t figure out what it’s supposed to mean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trees have never been forthright with their words, but he tries not to dwell on it. He shouldn’t, anyway. It has to stay meaningless, he can’t afford to be curious and live without a care in the world anymore. So he tunes out the whistling of the wind, and makes his way downtown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only out of bare necessity, Youngjae would visit every fortnight to stock up on food. He doesn’t dare make his mother or sister run errands in the village, fearing they’d be recognised. Especially with the bounties on their heads for having familial ties, to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>traitor</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it’d be a death wish if he lets them go. As much as he’d like to erase memories of his father, he can’t change the face he sees in the mirror. Youngjae despises how strongly he resembles him. Still, it won’t stop him from trying to forget the man who didn’t just betray the kingdom, but his family too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not only is he haunted by his reflection, but the monumental weight left in his heart by a shadow of a man is nearly too much to handle. He knows well enough that even if he tries to ignore any passing thoughts of him, it would be futile. His touch, his gaze, his voice. His existence engraves itself into his mind, body and soul, it’s laughable that Youngjae thinks he could’ve ever forgotten him. But he needs to. There are still people keeping an eye out for the Sohns, so he lets the hope of seeing him die in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Youngjae never speaks up, a question that lingers on the tip of his tongue, but he keeps his ears open and listens to the hushed whispers of the locals. For all he knows, the man could’ve found himself a wife like His Majesty wanted him to. He remembers talk of the royal family arranging him to be married with a princess from a faraway kingdom. Everyone knows it’s a political play on the King’s part, but the King denies it with the excuse that his son had praised her endlessly, someone so sweet and bubbly, they had gotten along well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As it turns out, the princess had rejected his proposal. Supposedly, she had someone waiting for her back home, but eyes and ears in the palace mentioned that she has an affair with her lady-in-waiting. It might sound twisted, but as much as Youngjae would like for him to find happiness, deep inside, he’d be lying if he said he’s not glad they didn’t go through with the arrangement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five years. It’s been five years since Youngjae last saw him, and two, since he was crowned King after his father’s passing, which means he would need to find a suitable partner and quick, to govern the kingdom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gossip is ever prevalent, the new king leaving the palace, more often than not, lately. There’s no one to confirm or deny, which leads to all sorts of stories being shared from one person to another, and some say he left to search for traitors, while others think he’s escaping his duties. But one rumour has it, that he’s sneaking off to meet a secret lover, or more accurately, look for a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lost lover</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’s all mindless chatter, with barely any substance, and he knows better than to dwell on it but it still tugs at his heartstrings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seems like fate thought so too, because his attention is pulled away by the stomping of footsteps that gradually gets louder as it nears him. Then comes the painful smack on his shoulder, and twists around to find Haknyeon</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span> a friend he never expected to make when he first found home here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eric! Hey,” Haknyeon laughs at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After years of using a new name, it still sounds so foreign to be called by anything other than Youngjae. Nobody has bothered to ask for his name either, the only exception being Haknyeon, and he still remembers how they became friends as clear as day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like this morning, he had gone off to the village to gather necessities and stock up on food, water and the sorts. It was right at the time nearby villages caught wind of the news that there has been an attempt on the King’s head. It spread like wildfire, with no details to be spared. People now know it was his father leading the assassination, and the fact that the rest of the Sohn family was nowhere to be found, the people were in an uproar. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While he was nowhere near the area he frequented in his youth, the posters with his father’s face plastered on it was a dead giveaway, especially because they look so alike. Knowing the worth of the bounty on him and his family members, people would jump at the chance to report him to the palace guards patrolling the area. He thanks his lucky stars that as he grew older, he started to take after his mother’s features instead of the bastard. Otherwise, he’d be as good as dead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It nearly happened, anyway, with his sudden appearance. People eyed him with suspicion, convinced that he’s the traitor’s son and harassed him, yelling obscenities. The entire situation felt all too reminiscent of when the noblemen would look down on him for being that man’s bastard child. This is where Haknyeon comes in. Where Youngjae would deal with his problems by working harder to prove himself, ignoring the negativity hurled his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Haknyeon, sweet, bright-eyed Haknyeon who was simply passing by, didn’t allow it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a stand, telling them off and saying it’s no wonder none of them have ever gotten an invitation to the banquet, they’ve never benefited the kingdom nor their people. He goes into a spiral, criticising everything they do wrong and while Haknyeon doesn’t call them by this, those heathens scurry off in embarrassment. Or maybe, they just weren’t willing to listen to him chew their ears off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since then, Haknyeon had earned his silent respect and he’s endlessly thankful the man had gone out of his way to help him, because no one dares to assault him again. It’s also by Haknyeon’s suggestion that he switches up his appearance, lightening his hair colour so others won’t have to look twice at him. His previous silver-blue strands, a trademark of the Sohns, is now a platinum blonde. It’s strange, but he likes it</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span> and he likes it a lot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eric? Hello? Earth to Eric?” Haknyeon waves his hands in front of his face, to which he snaps back into focus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hak, that hurts,” he groans, rolling his shoulder as if it would ease the pain. It’s more dramatic that way, and he laughs when Haknyeon raises his eyebrows at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think I’m gonna believe that, with how delayed your reaction was?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Youngjae pouts. “You’re so mean to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man simpers in response, and Youngjae drops the act and asks him seriously. “Were you telling me something earlier? Sorry, I got distracted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can see that,” he curls his lip. “As I was saying</span>
  <span>—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s sorry, he really is. He doesn’t intend to ignore Haknyeon but his ears pick up on a cacophony of noises, one he can’t quite put his finger on. It vaguely sounds like something pounding the ground, and further away, someone faintly screams. Then he sees it. A boy, no older than 8, mindlessly playing with pebbles in the middle of the road. Looking ahead, he finds the cause of the noise— dozens of barrels rolling down the hill, sparing no mercy on anything in its way. Upon further inspection, he can make out the figure of an old man watching the chaos in horror, his cart having been turned upside down and at this point, nothing could be done to stop it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“— I know you don’t like wasting more time than you should here, but my sisters cooked up an entire feast and I promise you, it’s worth it so I thought I sh—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Youngjae doesn’t get to hear what Haknyeon thinks, as his legs move faster than his brain could think. His eyes zero in on the child, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>runs</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Swooping in, he engulfs the child into his arms and protects him as they roll on the first. The sound of the barrels fade into the background, and he groans in pain. He really didn’t think it through, when he landed hard on the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hears the gasps and whispers break out amongst the villagers, but he pays them no mind. His priority is on the child, and only the child. He gives him a once over, relieved when he doesn’t see any physical injuries anywhere on him. Youngjae just feels grateful that years of hard work had kept him in shape, because he doesn’t want to imagine what would’ve happened if he couldn’t get to the little boy in time. He stands up from his position, dusting the dirt off the child then himself, and looks back at him in concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright? Do you feel hurt anywhere?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy shakes his head, mumbling a small thanks to which he smiles and ruffles his hair. Once he makes sure the child really doesn’t feel pain, he turns around to look at the commotion. But only then, he realises that the people were on their knees, silence flooding the area.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What in the world?” he cocks his head, confused. A tall figure crosses his path, leaning down to be on eye-level with the child, and Youngjae holds his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s him…</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Juyeon.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince— no, the King— looks astonished to see him, eyes flickering in recognition but he doesn’t acknowledge him immediately, instead smiling warmly at the boy in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hyunjun, Your Majesty,” the child answers quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay? Seems like a bad fall to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little boy replies just as he did with Youngjae, “I’m okay, thank you sire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Juyeon reaches into the pocket of his pants and pulls out a wrapped candy, handing it to him with care. “Mind where you’re going, okay?” and Youngjae sucks in a deep breath— he still remembers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hyunjun looks at him with bright eyes and thanks them both once again before running off, very obviously forgetting what the King had asked him to do. At his side, Youngjae observes his profile with a lump in his throat. Juyeon looks handsome, his eyes are soft as he watches Hyunjun run away to wherever, joining a group of friends. Like himself, Juyeon also happens to make a change of appearance. His once golden hair, darkened to a midnight blue and it reinforces his impression from years back, that Juyeon looks like he belongs to the sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The confidence in his figure melts away, and the King turns around to face him in uncertainty, shoulders stiff and heavy. Hesitantly, Juyeon speaks and he swears he could’ve cried in that moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Youngjae?” his name rolls off his tongue, sounding as sweet as it always has when it came from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips lift into a shaky smile, confirming Juyeon’s suspicion. “Your Majesty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The weight of curious eyes amongst the people is heavy on his shoulders, but it doesn’t burden him as much as it does with Juyeon standing in front of him. Years of denying the recollection of his memories, he had given up all hopes of ever seeing him again. And yet, here he is, right in the flesh. Too many emotions swirl in the King’s eyes, and he shifts uncomfortably and looks past his shoulder, only to find a familiar face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sunwoo!” he notes in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been too long,” Sunwoo replies, eyes glassy like he was about to bawl then and there, and Youngjae can’t help but grin at him, bright and easy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The knight, oh-so-different from his title, opens his arms wide and beckons him for a hug, which he readily falls into, laughing loudly. Youngjae misses him, he’s happy to see his best friend still maintain the same personality from when they were younger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He circles his arms around Sunwoo’s waist tightly before pulling away to reply. “It really has. Hope you’ve been well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sunwoo opens his mouth to respond, but his jaw goes slack instead and Youngjae raises his eyebrows curiously, wondering what pulled his best friend’s attention away. Picking up on heavy panting from behind, he turns to see Haknyeon bending over with his hands on his knees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh right. Haknyeon was with him earlier…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eric,” he wheezes, moving to lean on his shoulders. “Please don’t run away without me again.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Sorry Hak,” he smiles guiltily. He can’t even justify himself, when his only excuse is the people he encountered unexpectedly. Youngjae got so caught up with the appearance of Juyeon and Sunwoo, it slipped his mind that he was attending to other matters. They aren’t kids anymore, he can’t simply run off without a word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he was about to explain himself, Sunwoo interjects, “You— you’re… How…” Disbelief written all over his face as he struggles to speak. “How are you here?” is what he settles on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Haknyeon gains his breath and finally looks up, shock evident as he comes closer as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. Youngjae steps aside to let them meet in the same space, and he watches as Sunwoo lifts a hand to feather a finger over Haknyeon’s cheeks, like he hasn’t processed in his head that this isn’t a figment of his imagination.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What in the world is going on?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe we meet again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Haknyeon cracks into a smile, softly saying, “I told you I’d find my way back to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It feels entirely too intimate, and everyone including the King and himself are intruding on something that wasn’t privy to them. He might not be sure of the details, only looking at Sunwoo and Haknyeon, confusion swirling in his mind, but he knows they should be given some time alone. But as he looks at the all too familiar fondness in Sunwoo’s eyes, the dots begin to connect in his head, and it seems as though Juyeon had the same realisation dawn on him as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Haknyeon was the boy Sunwoo saved all those years ago.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He just wonders why Juyeon didn’t recognise him sooner, but he himself should’ve figured. When he thinks back on it, Haknyeon has hinted many times before but he never would’ve guessed it would’ve linked to his very best friend. From what he gathered, their separation might possibly be as devastating as his was with Juyeon, so he catches Sunwoo’s gaze and gives him a meaningful look. With a pat on his back, he whispers in his ear. “It was nice seeing you again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sunwoo nods at him, gratefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s catch up soon, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be waiting,” he smiles, then lowers his head as he turns to Juyeon. “Your Majesty, will you allow me to escort you away?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The King doesn’t say a word, simply holds onto his open palm and Youngjae has to push away the tingle spreads across his skin, when he notices Juyeon shivering from his touch. On second thoughts, maybe it’s goosebumps because Juyeon entwines their fingers together, letting him lead away from the two men. With their leave, he can hear the crowd disperse too and hopefully, it’ll give his friends the privacy they needed. It seems like he’s not the only one reuniting with a lover from the past.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Juyeon’s hand in his, walking away together to find a hidden corner, it makes him feel like they were brought back to the past with this familiar scene. But there’s no one to look at them now, to sneer at Youngjae when Juyeon isn’t looking, and he prefers it this way. The way silence falls over them isn’t uncomfortable, not in the least, but he struggles to make up a witty comment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all, what does one say to a lover they unwillingly had to leave behind?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, what happens is that he lets out what has to be the most awkward thing he’s ever said, leave past his lips. “So, how’s it going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Youngjae tries to pretend he can think straight with Juyeon around, so he relaxes his posture and makes it seem like he meant to say that, but he forgets. No matter how long they haven’t seen each other, Juyeon still knows him from inside out so whatever he does, won’t faze the King. How annoying. He honestly misses it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better now that I finally found you.” It’s so straightforward, Youngjae nearly trips over air if it weren’t for Juyeon wrapping his arms around his waist to keep him steady. He’s shining with mischief and continues, playing along. “Thought I’d try something different and change up my hair, going on trips. Y’know, the sorts. Do you like it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No reason to lie, Youngjae answers him. “It looks great on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yours too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The grin he flashes back stops him from speaking any further, the image so blinding, he forgets what he wanted to say. Now they’re alone, he doesn’t know where to start. Should he tell him how much he misses him? How he’s survived all these years? Ask if he found someone else?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The options are endless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needn’t worry, because Juyeon pulls him into a bone-crushing hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I missed you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I missed you too,” Youngjae mumbles, melting into his embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It took me so long, I’ve been looking everywhere for you but all this while, you were here…”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been looking everywhere for you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why does he feel like he’s heard that before?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Youngjae exhales softly, fluttering his eyes close, an attempt to will his tears his away but God, he suddenly feels whole again. He spent so much time building walls upon walls to protect himself, for being born out of infidelity, for being the son of a traitor, but it breaks so easily with Juyeon there. He doesn’t need to fear being weak with him, because it’s Juyeon who completes him and makes him feel secure. He is his pillar. The structure that keeps him standing strong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A warm hand cups his jaw and Youngjae leans into his palm, but the comfort doesn’t last long as he feels cool metal graze his cheek. Blinking away his tears, he makes out the blurry image of a ring resting on Juyeon’s finger and he can hear his heart crack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re betrothed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t know why he asks when he doesn’t want to hear the answer, and he probably overstepped his boundaries. But he’s so scared he lost Juyeon. Scared he’s committing the same mistake his father did. He won’t allow the King to make him his concubine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Juyeon frowns, then as if it dawns on him, he glances at his hands and his lips quirk into a smile, laughter spilling from his mouth. Gently, he holds onto Youngjae’s hand, fingers curling over his. “Look again, properly this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly, he eyes it and…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the ring he gifted Juyeon when they had to separate for the first time. The sunlight pours over the crimson red of the garnet stone, and it glints gorgeously. In the back of his mind, he hopes it has done its job at keeping him safe all these years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It fits you well, Your Majesty,” he notes, remembering how he had to make-shift the ring into a necklace instead because he had miscalculated Juyeon’s size. Now, it looks snug against his ring finger and joy blooms in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does, doesn’t it?” Juyeon smiles, all soft and fond. “And didn’t I tell you to refer to me by my name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your Majesty, you know I can’t.” Youngjae says, exasperation tinged in his voice. They’ve had this conversation too many times to count. “You’re the king now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well then,” A smirk finds its way to Juyeon’s lips, and Youngjae’s not sure if he wants to hear what he says next. “As king, I command you to call me Juyeon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hates to admit it, but what Juyeon said sent shivers down his spine. He is so weak for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The protest dies in his throat as he sneaks a glance at Juyeon, the curl to his lip makes him look so smug, Youngjae’s stuck between wanting to glare at him or kiss the smirk of his face. Both options seem very tempting, actually. One could very well lead to his demise, but he’d much prefer to die a happy man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damn it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Muttering a string of curses under his breath, he gathers his courage and asks. “Juyeon, can I kiss you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A breath of a simple word, then comes a peck so gentle. Their lips slot together, and it’s like a puzzle has finally been completed. Youngjae could drown in his scent, pulling and pulling, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>pulling</span>
  </em>
  <span> until his senses override. Delicacy gone, replaced by a collision of stars and warmth engulfs every part of his skin as he holds him close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Breaking away to regain their breath, Youngjae almost breaks his composure again, taken with the way Juyeon looks flushed. Instead, he stores the image in the back of his mind and lets Juyeon bury his face into his hair, fingers combing through his strands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should’ve told you this more often when I still had the chance, but I love you, I love you, I love you,” with each I love you, Juyeon presses a soft kiss to his lips. “I swear I’ll never let you slip from my grasp again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sincerity drips like honey, and Youngjae trusts him. He trusts Juyeon will hold onto his promise, because he’s Juyeon and he’s never given a reason to doubt him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, he understands what his mother had told him all those years ago. Even through the darkest of days, he has never felt lost, for the stars had burned bright for him. The constellations map the sky, guiding him home; guiding him to Juyeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What leave his next is the truth, and nothing but the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should be telling you that instead, but I believe you. With my whole heart, I do. I love you Juyeon.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>the end at last! this was my entrance into the deobi ficdom as i was inspired by another fic here along with a picture of juyeon in rtk, so this became my first attempt at writing something so lengthy. admittedly, this could've been posted as a one shot, but i wasn't satisfied and i wanted to gift my friend this so i went through several re-writes and it still isn't up to my standards bc my writing style has changed drastically from literally a year ago when i started this. but if you've read this until the end, thank you so much and i hope you enjoyed!</p><p><a href="https://twitter.com/jcblris"> twitter </a> + <a href="https://curiouscat.me/milcob"> curiouscat </a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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